Never Make another Excuse for what You Have to Say!

Hey, for what it’s worth, I hope this doesn’t offend you, but I’m going to hit a touchy subject with today’s blog post.

Picture credit: justonecupcake.com

Doesn’t that make you want to squirm?!?  Not the part about the touchy subject… read the qualifier that preceded it.  You have most certainly heard (or spoken) the following opening words:

“No offense, but…”

“This probably doesn’t apply to you…”

“Hey, for what it’s worth…”

“Listen, I know this sucks, but…”

Those phrases, when placed before the body of your statement, mean just one thing: You have not developed the proper relationship to be making your statement!  If you don’t have the trust and understanding of the person you’re talking with, you should not be making the statement.  If you have their trust and understanding, you do not need the qualifier.

Next time you feel a qualifier coming on, STOP!  Before another word comes out of your mouth, mentally make your statement on its own… without the qualifier.  If it sounds disrespectful, no qualifier is going to make that better.  If it sounds like you are micromanaging something that they already know how to do, no qualifier is going to make your words sound wise.  If this is the case, put the message on the shelf for the time being.  As the proverb goes, it is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

If your message is of value, shape your words to convey their intended meaning in a respectful, intelligent manner.  Once you have done that, speak those words... and only those words!  Your message will be clear and the people you are speaking to will respect you.

Do You Make this Critical Leadership Mistake?

“I don’t care if people like me, as long as they respect me!”

This quote has bounced around the workforce to the point of cliché.  On the surface, the idea seems solid: If you spend all your time worrying about whether or not your followers like you, you will be paralyzed for fear of making an unpopular decision.  No one respects an indecisive leader.

Photo credit: thedailyman.org

Have you ever said those words?  If so, I challenge you to take a quick look inside your own heart.  Are you using that phrase merely as an excuse to disregard the ideas, opinions and feelings of those you lead?

Sometimes a leader has to make the tough decisions and forsake temporarily being liked for the overall good of the mission... still, there is a line between leading with authority and being authoritarian.

Hopefully, you are lucky enough to have someone on your team who is willing to call you out, in private, on your mistakes.  A leader held accountable for their leadership style is truly blessed.  Whether or not you have that, take time for personal reflection and hold yourself accountable for your actions and decisions.

Have you ever had to make a leadership decision that rubbed people the wrong way and cost you some friends?  Looking back, was it in the interest of the mission, or in the interest of your own personal agenda?  In retrospect, could you have approached your decision differently?