Hey, for what it’s worth, I hope this doesn’t offend you, but I’m going to hit a touchy subject with today’s blog post.
|Picture credit: justonecupcake.com|
Doesn’t that make you want to squirm?!? Not the part about the touchy subject… read the qualifier that preceded it. You have most certainly heard (or spoken) the following opening words:
“No offense, but…”
“This probably doesn’t apply to you…”
“Hey, for what it’s worth…”
“Listen, I know this sucks, but…”
Those phrases, when placed before the body of your statement, mean just one thing: You have not developed the proper relationship to be making your statement! If you don’t have the trust and understanding of the person you’re talking with, you should not be making the statement. If you have their trust and understanding, you do not need the qualifier.
Next time you feel a qualifier coming on, STOP! Before another word comes out of your mouth, mentally make your statement on its own… without the qualifier. If it sounds disrespectful, no qualifier is going to make that better. If it sounds like you are micromanaging something that they already know how to do, no qualifier is going to make your words sound wise. If this is the case, put the message on the shelf for the time being. As the proverb goes, it is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
If your message is of value, shape your words to convey their intended meaning in a respectful, intelligent manner. Once you have done that, speak those words... and only those words! Your message will be clear and the people you are speaking to will respect you.